All this sunshine and warm weather is just terrible to deal with! Psych! I am currently in North Myrtle with my lax team and I couldn't be happier...unless, you know, I didn't have cancer!
We left Thursday night and we have had one scrimmage and a bunch of practices. I love being back near the game more than you know. Being here, I feel less like a cancer patient and more like I am living out the year I had originally planned. I was pretty nervous about the trip, and still have some anxious moments while I am here. It's hard being away from my 'cancer comfort zone.' I am very confident that I will be perfectly fine, but there is that fear in the back of my mind of being away from my doctors and my parents. The good news is that I have 29 people here to yell at me to put on my sunscreen and to hydrate. And trust me they do! Lindsay and I have a gallon challenge going on. We both have a gallon of water and whoever finishes first for the day wins...Just for the record, I am 2-0.
I miss playing so much. The worst part is that I am cleared to play from my knee surgery, but don't have the strength to do it. I am still pretty bummed about how my career ended and I am definitely jealous of all the girls playing. I don't think they realize how lucky they are to be doing what they love. I am just lucky to still be apart of it. I wish I could explain to them how much they help me. They have taken my approach on my cancer and run with it. They pick on me, check in on me, and some of them have even tried Lola on!! A few of them have my green bracelet on their sticks and all of them play with a lime green Headstrong shoelace. Their support has gotten me through a lot in the past and they just continue to be a 'rock' for me. I'd give anything to still be on the field with them, but my time is up. All I can do now is try to prepare them for their battles, while I do my best to win mine.
On more of a cancer front, I am definitely noticing my chemo brain while I am here. I had noticed it at home, but here it's a lot more obvious. I keep having moments where I just forget things. I can't recall what I wanted to tell the defense and Lindsay keeps making the mistake of asking me to remind her of something... Typically she never gets her reminder! I am dealing with my usual chest pain, which is just the constant reminder of the fact that I am fighting cancer. It's kind of frustrating because even on my best days I have to put up with pain. I am pretty weak at practice as well. I have a stool that the team carries around for me to sit and coach from. I am not fond of being so weak. Being that I have been an athlete my entire life, weakness is not something I am used to. But with all the laughs and good times I am having, it is easy to fight through the pain.
As always, my spirits are up, my faith is strong, and my body is slowly but surely moving! And yes, Mom & Dad, I am napping, I check my temperature regularly, I am chugging water and gatorade, and have taken every necessary pill. I can't touch the turf without at least three people telling me to put on sunscreen and the team will constantly carry around my water jug! I am in excellent hands here so, please enjoy a cancer free week!
We left Thursday night and we have had one scrimmage and a bunch of practices. I love being back near the game more than you know. Being here, I feel less like a cancer patient and more like I am living out the year I had originally planned. I was pretty nervous about the trip, and still have some anxious moments while I am here. It's hard being away from my 'cancer comfort zone.' I am very confident that I will be perfectly fine, but there is that fear in the back of my mind of being away from my doctors and my parents. The good news is that I have 29 people here to yell at me to put on my sunscreen and to hydrate. And trust me they do! Lindsay and I have a gallon challenge going on. We both have a gallon of water and whoever finishes first for the day wins...Just for the record, I am 2-0.
I miss playing so much. The worst part is that I am cleared to play from my knee surgery, but don't have the strength to do it. I am still pretty bummed about how my career ended and I am definitely jealous of all the girls playing. I don't think they realize how lucky they are to be doing what they love. I am just lucky to still be apart of it. I wish I could explain to them how much they help me. They have taken my approach on my cancer and run with it. They pick on me, check in on me, and some of them have even tried Lola on!! A few of them have my green bracelet on their sticks and all of them play with a lime green Headstrong shoelace. Their support has gotten me through a lot in the past and they just continue to be a 'rock' for me. I'd give anything to still be on the field with them, but my time is up. All I can do now is try to prepare them for their battles, while I do my best to win mine.
On more of a cancer front, I am definitely noticing my chemo brain while I am here. I had noticed it at home, but here it's a lot more obvious. I keep having moments where I just forget things. I can't recall what I wanted to tell the defense and Lindsay keeps making the mistake of asking me to remind her of something... Typically she never gets her reminder! I am dealing with my usual chest pain, which is just the constant reminder of the fact that I am fighting cancer. It's kind of frustrating because even on my best days I have to put up with pain. I am pretty weak at practice as well. I have a stool that the team carries around for me to sit and coach from. I am not fond of being so weak. Being that I have been an athlete my entire life, weakness is not something I am used to. But with all the laughs and good times I am having, it is easy to fight through the pain.
As always, my spirits are up, my faith is strong, and my body is slowly but surely moving! And yes, Mom & Dad, I am napping, I check my temperature regularly, I am chugging water and gatorade, and have taken every necessary pill. I can't touch the turf without at least three people telling me to put on sunscreen and the team will constantly carry around my water jug! I am in excellent hands here so, please enjoy a cancer free week!
